


phanweek fics

by dizzy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 00:35:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5227124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For the <a href="http://phanweek.tumblr.com">phanweek</a> day one prompt: parents. </p><p>
  <a href="http://slightlydizzier.tumblr.com/post/133280183499/bedtime-stories">read and reblog on tumblr!</a>
</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Bedtime Stories

**Author's Note:**

> For the [phanweek](http://phanweek.tumblr.com) day one prompt: parents. 
> 
> [read and reblog on tumblr!](http://slightlydizzier.tumblr.com/post/133280183499/bedtime-stories)

"You're going to be the dad who she wants to hold her and kiss her bloody knee when she takes a tumble," Dan says.

His voice is dreamy-soft the way it gets when they talk about things like this. 

"You'll be the fun dad," Phil says. "The one who knows all the music he and his friends listen to." 

"Or I'll just be the dad who looks pathetic because he's trying too hard to relate to what the youngsters are listening to." 

"Well," Phil says kindly. "You'll always be a youngster compared to me." 

"You realize the older we get the less difference three years even makes." 

"And yet you still call me elderly." 

"Yes, but that's because your personality is a charming blend of Mr. Rogers and someone's weird slightly senile uncle." 

"Not yours, I hope. Because that would be incest." 

Dan screws up his face in a sour expression. "No, Phil, you do not remind me of any relative of mine." 

"Good." Phil nods as if pleased that they've settled that. 

"You'll be the one that helps with homework," Dan says. "I'll be too impatient." 

"You'll just be frustrated if you don't already know the answer. We'll still have to ask you if we can't Google it." Phil draws his fingers down Dan's arm, firm enough pressure to not be ticklish. One day their son or daughter will draw the same comfort from those long, strong fingers that tremble sometimes but hold tight all the same in the moments that count. "But you'll be the one who always wakes up as soon as she starts to cry." 

"Because you'll pretend to be asleep even if you're not." Dan pokes him gently in the side. 

Phil laughs but doesn't disagree. "It'll even out, though, since I'll be the one to take her to daycare so you don't have to awkwardly explain to the single mums that you're actually married." 

"Shut up. You're just as likely to get hit on as me." Dan's cheeks are flush, teeth sunk into his lower lips. "We'll have to go to together to fetch her. And be extra obnoxious so everyone knows what's what." 

They wouldn't - even if they could, they wouldn't, because that's never really been who they are. But there's nothing wrong with a fantasy as harmless as some PG-rated PDA. 

"You'll be the one that teachers her how to become a young Mario Kart tyrant," Phil decides. "While I try in vain to enforce some kind of restriction on how many hours a day she's allowed to spend glued to a screen." 

"I might teach her how to play, but by the time she's old enough to understand strategy she'll only want to play you." 

"Because you won't ever let her win?" Phil asks. 

Dan nods. "And you will." 

"Except I won't actually be letting her win, though," Phil says. "I'll just tell her that I let her win to save my wounded pride." 

It almost hurts Dan, how clearly he can see that in his mind's eye. He can see them sitting on a sofa, and he knows by the time they reach that point they likely won't be in this house but it's still the frame of reference that he uses. He can see himself on the chair and Phil sitting on the sofa with a little girl laughing over controllers or a little boy who fiercely competes with clumsy uncoordinated hands, who tries and giggles his victory. Warmth prickles all over him and imagining takes him back to something like the impossible wait for Christmas when the first of December rolls around. 

It's just a game, except that it's not. Life is hurtling by. They're getting older. The jokes are wistful, wanting things. They test the waters on each other, checking more and more often to see if they're still on the same page. 

They are. 

"I can't wait to have a family with you," Dan says. He feels light saying it, and he sees the lightness reflected back on Phil's face. It buoys him and keeps him tethered at the same time. Right now their life feels like a roller coaster, like they're hitting stomach-twisting heights that betray the laws of physics. But it's okay because they've got each other's hands to hold tight to and when they've had enough of this kind of an adrenaline rush, this is what waits in front of them. 

Dan grins at Phil and Phil grins back, like this is some secret they're keeping between them. Maybe it is, for right now. 

"Me, too," Phil whispers back, then yawns. 

They should sleep soon. It's already the early hours of the morning and they've got to be up by eleven. Dan shifts on the bed, turn over so his back is to Phil's chest with their legs still pressed together. Phil tucks his chin against Dan's shoulder and finds Dan's hand with his own. 

The future looms wide and wonderful and terrifying. It can't come soon enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [read and reblog on tumblr!](http://slightlydizzier.tumblr.com/post/133280183499/bedtime-stories)


	2. I Feel Like I Could Fly (With the Boy on the Moon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the phanweek day two prompt: 2009!phan.

Dan's never felt so comfortable with someone and so terrified by them at the same time. 

Phil as a person is warm and friendly and funny and makes Dan feel like all the pressures of his life are momentarily gone, like nothing could be wrong when they're talking. 

Phil as a concept is the scariest thing Dan's encountered yet in his eighteen years. 

*

Dan's ex-girlfriend thought his bisexuality was a cool thing to brag about to their friends. 

It used to make him uncomfortable. It was his secret to tell, not hers; but she was pretty and he loved her, he thought, and he wasn't going to throw that away on such a little thing. 

* 

She knew about his crush on Phil. He used to make her watch Phil's videos, and she'd tease him. She didn't think Phil was attractive. Dan isn't sure how anyone can not see that Phil's the most bloody gorgeous thing on the planet. His stomach twists and turns even thinking it right now. 

Phil's gorgeous, and he's the best person ever, and Dan's about 94% sure that Phil likes him back. But the best part is - Dan's going to meet him in just a few days. 

* 

As soon as they meet, Dan can tell that Phil's as nervous as he is - maybe more. 

Phil's nerves bolster Dan. The way Phil keeps looking at him like he can't believe Dan's real, the way his hands keep reaching out to touch. The way he keeps finding excuses to bump or poke or nudge against Dan - each little moment makes his heart leap. 

By the time they're queuing up for the Eye, it's not even a question of if they'll kiss, it's a question of when. 

*

They don't have sex that first night in the traditional sense of the word, but what they do still feels an awful lot like sex to Dan. He shivers for weeks on when he stops to think about Phil's hands on the small of his back and sweet little kisses and waking up tucked together under a sheets that smell like mingled sweat and Phil. 

*

The best thing about Phil is that they talk. 

They really talk - like, really _really_ talk. They talk about everything. Words and phrases and fears that Dan couldn't imagine ever being that honest with anyone about - he can trust Phil with them. 

He can trust Phil with anything, and so what if his friends think he's naive for it. They just don't know Phil. 

*

They talk in terms of how they feel, not what they are. It's all very cozy and romantic in the moment but it leaves Dan's mind a haze of confusion once the afterglow has faded and he's on a train back home. 

* 

Over a later October Skype call, Phil confesses that he hasn't done a whole lot more than Dan has, and he hopes he wasn't bad in bed. 

Dan vehemently reassures him that he wasn't, and then to distract them both confesses what all he wants to do. The call ends with heavy breathing and watching each other get off, cameras still on faces and all the more intimate for it. 

* 

"I'm cold," Dan complains. They're out in the crisp air of late October and his Halloween costume is plenty warm but he wants Phil to hold his hand. 

He could just take Phil's first, but flirting is a game and they both like to play. Besides, he wants Phil to know that it's okay to make a move, too. 

An hour later they're sitting by the fountain and Phil reaches over. Dan smiles to big that it's hard to hide, and then he remembers he doesn't really need to hide it, anyway. 

*

He spends a lot of his time alone in his room at home, thinking. 

He mostly thinks about Phil. 

* 

Phil's family is there when he goes back again, but they don't spend all that much time in the house anyway. They script out videos and film and Dan swallows down his nerves over meeting friends of Phil, but it turns out to not be so scary at all, because Phil never makes him feel like some newbie tagging along. 

Phil makes him feel like the star of their very own show and he's not sure if that's just part of Phil's charm or if Phil really sees him like that. 

*

He loves Phil's family, anyway. He tells Phil that at least a half dozen times over the course of the days he's there. Phil's mum tries to feed him cookies and cakes every time he walks in the door, and Phil's dad is full of the kind of laughter and warmth that Dan's own Dad just doesn't have. 

"They're just different types," Phil says, and his defense of Dan's parents when he's never even met them should rankle but instead it just makes Dan stop to think. Phil does that a lot, just stops him in his tracks. 

He assumed he'd want to spend more of the time they're home in Phil's room, alone, but he finds himself lingering after mealtime and not minding at all when everyone suggests putting in a film. 

It's extra nice how no one seems to mind or care at all that they sit too close in a overstuffed chair meant for one and Phil falls asleep with his head on Dan's shoulder halfway through. 

*

When Phil wants to make plans for them almost a year out, Dan feels like he's going to throw up in the best possible way. It's an answer to a question he wasn't sure how to ask. 

*

The tenth of November to the twenty-ninth is the longest stretch of weeks in Dan's whole life. 

* 

There are things he keeps from Phil. 

He doesn't tell Phil how much he fights with his parents over all the traveling he's done and wants to do, or how many hours he's on the computer or his phone. 

He doesn't tell Phil when his ex-girlfriend calls him and wants to meet back up when she's back in town for the holidays. He says maybe, but then tells her he's seeing someone, and she doesn't call back. 

He doesn't tell Phil how sometimes the only good thing about his life right now is when they talk, because he doesn't want Phil to feel bad. He never wants Phil to feel bad. 

* 

He does tell Phil how his best high school mate scoffs when Dan confides in him. He tells Phil when he's lonely, most of the time. He tells Phil when he's sad, sometimes, but only when Phil can already tell without Dan actually having to say it. 

(That's most of the time.) 

*

The day Dan leaves for Manchester for the week, he has the worst fight with his parents yet. 

They tell him he can't go and he screams back obscenities. He feels like a kid under their judgement and it makes the sweet escape of his time with Phil even more appealing. 

By the time he's stepping foot onto the platform at Piccadilly and into Phil's arms, he's shrugged off the discontent. He'll worry about the rest when he has to go home. 

* 

When he says it's the best week of his life, there's no exaggeration to be found in his words. 

He and his girlfriend never had days stretched out alone in an empty house, but looking back Dan can't even really imagine what they'd have done with the freedom if they'd had it. 

He and Phil, though - they've got no trouble filling time. They never run out of words between them, or laughter, or kisses. They spend almost an entire day in bed together, working through that list of _I've never_ and _I want to_. It's a sweaty, come-filled adventure that leaves them both sore and blushing when they pry themselves apart and face the world again. 

* 

Dan's always been an emotional crier. Sad movies, happy movies, moving song lyrics. 

He doesn't cry when Phil traces those eight letters in the snow, but it's a near thing. He has to close his eyes and swallow against the swell and burn of emotion, but when he opens them again his vision is clear and all he sees is Phil above him leaning in for a kiss. 

*

They make dinner side by side in Phil's kitchen. 

Dan secretly pretends that it's their own house, that this is their kitchen, that this is their life. 

He catches Phil grinning at him across the room and wonders if Phil's doing the same thing. 

*

And they do have sex. Real, actual bum sex. Dan showers for a long time beforehand and once they get going there's too much lube everywhere and they come too fast and laugh too much and it's _fucking amazing_ , pun intended. 

They try it both ways, every way they can, because they have time and they're drunk on each other and so, so fucking in love. 

* 

They have the conversation that they need to have, the one where they make things real and official. Dan's only been properly single for about six months of the last six years of his life but this still feels like the first time he's ever been part of something so real and bigger than himself. 

The idea of being with Phil isn't so scary anymore. It just feels inevitable, and why be scared of something so wonderful? If the world and the people in his life can't be happy for him, then fuck them. 

*

He does cry when he has to leave, but it's okay, because Phil cries a little too. 

They cling to each other at Phil's house, holding more tightly than they need to, just because they can. They cling even tighter at the train station and sneak in a kiss or two and whisper that they love each other approximately a dozen or so times in the span of an hour. 

They're being ridiculous. They don't really care. 

Dan cries for real on the train back home, because he's happy and sad at the same time. 

* 

His parents try to tell him he's not allowed to go back again until the new year. 

He blusters back that he'll just move out and his mother looks stricken and his father starts to yell more but Dan's already taking long-legged steps toward his room and slamming the door. 

His mother comes in to talk to him a few hours later. Her voice breaks when she says she's afraid of losing her baby boy, that she hates having to admit that he's growing up. 

He thinks of his future-fantasy of evening dinners with Phil. He thinks of all the sordid things they did, of Phil spreading him open and licking him apart, of whining with his mouth around Phil's dick and the mess Phil made on his skin just because Dan asked him to, because Dan wanted to know what it felt like. He thinks about checking train schedules over Phil's shoulder and bickering about whether they'll be late and how one morning he woke up before Phil and felt so happy making coffee and breakfast for his boyfriend. 

He tells his mother none of that, but hugs her and says he's sorry. 

Then he tells her Phil's his boyfriend and he can't tell if she's happy or sad but she hugs him again and, really, it could have gone worse. 

*

The next day he mentions - defiantly - that Phil bought him train tickets for the following week. There's a gathering they're going to but Phil asked if he wanted to come up early, and - well, that's not much of a question at all at this point, is it? 

There's nowhere Dan ever wants to be more than tucked in close to Phil. 

His mother looks slightly broken and his father looks grim but nods. They'll come around, Phil tells him later, trying to make him feel better. Why is their pained acceptance so much more painful than raised voiced? 

"I don't know why they can't just be happy for me," Dan says, head sunk into his pillow and voice sullen. "Your parents are happy for you." 

"Different types," Phil reminds him. "They'll come around." 

* 

Phil takes him out on another real date. 

Dan used to think he was a right awesome boyfriend if he took his girlfriend to the cinema and had enough money to pay. 

Phil buys him expensive dinners (expensive to Dan's student wages, anyway) and helps him pick out fruity drinks and looks at him across the table, through dim lighting, like Dan's a new wonder of the world. 

So either Dan wasn't that great of a boyfriend before, or Phil's just unattainable levels of perfect and Dan is insanely lucky.

*

(But no one's perfect. Dan, under absolute duress, might have to admit that Phil kisses with slightly too much force when he first gets going. And that maybe it has potential to be annoying how when Phil decides it's time to get up, or time to eat, or time to go somewhere and then have to act _just then_ even if Dan wants to stay in bed or lounging a little longer. Or how when Phil is editing something he spends hours tuning everything out, and Dan hates the fact that he feels like they're missing out on time together because Phil's glued to his computer. But those things are so small and everything else is so big and bold and wonderful that the little flaws just don't seem to really matter much at all in the long run.) 

*

It's almost Christmas and Dan doesn't want to leave Manchester. Even with the cold biting his nose and the hole in his jacket pocket, there's something magical about this time of year and sharing it with someone. 

Even if he's spent most of this visit half-soaked and freezing his tits off, even if he knows he'll go back home to a scowling mother upset he's missed 'half of Christmas' (whatever that even means; he'll be home for the day itself, that's all that matters, right?) he wouldn't change a thing about it. 

Creating with Phil is almost as good as anything else they do together, it turns out. Under Phil's guidance and urging, Dan is discovering the potential within himself to see a thing through from conception to finish in a way he's never had the patience to do before. 

Dan's own videos may fill his stomach with the squirming sense of discontent that plagues everything he tries to do, but the things he makes with Phil - those are the ones he's unashamedly proud of. 

*

He loves Phil's family tree and listening to the music Phil's mother plays in the house. 

He loves being cozy under the covers with Phil, hands wandering and mouths pressed together in lazy kisses. 

He loves stealing each other's drinks and sitting with their ankles overlapping just to casually knock together as a point of contact. 

He loves, loves, _loves_ the present Phil got him. Because Phil knows Dan gets lonely at home now and he knows Dan likes to hug him in the night and he gave Dan something to cuddle and keep. 

"I slept with it first," Phil confides, and it's so silly and so perfect, and Dan can tell he means it because when Dan indulgently presses his nose to the soft fabric of the toy he can catch the faintest little trace of Phil's scent on it. 

He keeps it clutched to him the entire train ride back, not giving a fuck at people laughing over the teenage boy snuggling a plush. 

* 

Dan's not sure he's ever had a Christmas where his heart felt so happy and full. 

Maybe that's why once dinner is over he finds the nerve to ask his parents if Phil can come stay for a few days, if they'd meet him properly. 

His dad doesn't say much, but his mum looks - happy? Huh. She'd love to meet Phil, she says. His dad just nods. 

Dan's flustered. He was expecting a fight. Go figure. Parents are strange. 

"I told you," Phil says, when Dan relays the invitation to him later. "They're just different types." 

* 

He goes to a party the day after Christmas. His parents seem relieved that it's not a train ride away, and Dan finds it ridiculous that essentially they're more okay with him getting completely pissed with old school mates and doing fuck knows what than they are with him playing board games at the Lester household. 

But they don't know what he does with Phil, because they haven't actually asked and he's certainly not volunteering. They'll meet Phil soon enough. They'll get it then. 

He does get drunk with his friends, and he sees his ex-girlfriend holding hands with another boy, and should that make him angry? Maybe it does, a little bit, but he can look within himself enough to understand that he's embarrassed about everyone else seeing it and knowing he's seen it too. 

He isn't jealous. He just doesn't like people feeling sorry for him. 

*

"You'll meet someone," she tells him, awkwardly - drunkenly - patting his arm. It's an hour later and he's heard from three different friends how her new boyfriend is named Geoff and came down with her from university. 

His heart does a double flip, not because of the touch but because her words make him think of Phil. "I have," he says, taking a deeper breath. He feels like he needs the oxygen all of a sudden. His head is fairly swimming. "I am - with someone." 

"Oh?" She's surprised, maybe - maybe a little upset herself. "Is she here?" 

"He," Dan says. "Isn't." 

Her eyes go wide and her mouth opens, then closes. "Oh." She says. 

Dan's drink cup is slippery from condensation and his hand is freezing. "I'm gonna go," he says abruptly, and walks away. 

* 

He stands outside and rings Phil. 

"I miss you," he says. 

"Not having fun?" Phil sounds sympathetic. 

"It was fine," Dan says. "But I miss you." 

"Me, too." Phil sighs and warmth flushes over Dan at the sound. He can say things like that, and he doesn't have to be afraid, because Phil gets it. Because Phil is the same. "Come up early. Come tomorrow. We can get the train to London together. I'll buy your ticket." 

It's ridiculous to travel four hours just for an extra twenty with Phil. But Dan's already nodding, tingly anticipation and the alcohol still circulating his system making him feel lighter than air already. 

* 

There's another party, days later. There's alcohol, and a crowd he feels instantly at home in. Midnight strikes into 2010 and Dan whispers a breathless _I love you_ with his arms flung over Phil's shoulders and their chests pressed tight together. 

How could he be anything but happy when Phil's right beside him tasting like Malibu and eager to share his kisses. There's still a whole world of things to be terrified of, uni and the future and the viability of hopes and dreams, but if this - if this thing with Phil, this pipe dream crush turned into the best thing in his life... well. then maybe it's not so dumb to think everything else will be okay, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [read and reblog on tumblr!](http://slightlydizzier.tumblr.com/post/133365877659/i-feel-like-i-could-fly-with-the-boy-on-the-moon)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For phanweek prompt day 3: top!Dan.

To Dan, as a teenager, the idea of a life where he could have regular sex whenever he wanted was a shining beacon of all he could aspire to have and be.

When he had a girlfriend, they fooled around when and where they could. Sex was a rare occasion, exploration stunted by the distance between their schools and nosy families and shared accommodation when they did get away with their mates. They got away with more than their parents would have ever approved of, but Dan can count on two hands the number times they actually had sex in the three years they were together. 

He was with two people after breaking up with her, but before Phil, or at least before Phil really counted. There is a hazy kind of overlap there because he knew Phil then, he talked to Phil, and he had his fanboy crush. But there was a time when he was newly single and Phil was still a fantasy he talked to once in a while on twitter, and Dan - he wanted a little more life experience. 

One was a girl he knew had a crush on him for ages. He had sex with her once and he was a little too drunk and took so long to come that she ended up pushing him away, saying it was starting to hurt. He slunk back home and cried in his bed.

The other was a boy, his first blowjob in the dim backroom of a party, mind racing with the idea that this was what he'd been missing all along. It was over too fast and left him sweaty and uncomfortable walking home, the sour taste in his mouth as literal as it was figurative.

In retrospect, he was looking for fulfillment where he'd never have found it, but as a teenager it fucked him up all sorts of ways. 

And then there was Phil. 

Phil, over a grainy Skype connection. Phil, curled up on the sofa touching him so sweetly and so hotly. Phil, with that bedroom that locked and those parents away so much. Phil, who showed him in every way imaginable just how good it could really be. 

He and Phil, they worked those nerves away. Phil was not his first in that way that society deems so important but he was every other first that somehow meant so much more. The first time they bought lube together, snickering over the cheesy brand names. The first time Dan went on holiday alone with a partner, fucking in a hotel room bed and feeling so adult when they checked out the next day. The first time Dan shared a bed with someone and called it theirs. The first, the last, the only person Dan ever could imagine being happy with forever. 

But the reality of a live-in partner is nothing his eighteen year old self would have thought. It's not non-stop orgasms and fucking on every available surface. It's grittier in the details. It's bickering back and forth over who drank the last of the milk and sex being another texture layered on so many others in their lives. Living together, being together, is full of the most brilliant highs he could ever imagine but also the long exhausting days and tired nights where his motivation cancels out the abundant opportunity. 

But oh, _oh_. When they do have opportunity, and motivation, and energy - it's spectacular. Like stumbling in from the afterparty, feeling reckless like teenagers and drunk like kings, bumping into the walls and each other... it's exhilarating. There's no pressure to be sexy. They get naked with purpose, not a pretense of teasing. They roll around together because they just fucking love how their bodies feel all pressed up tight, and the negotiation about who does what happens with a laugh and a shove. It's usually Phil but sometimes it's not and right now Dan has that energy crackling in his body, that urge to push and shove and move. 

The first time he fucked Phil, he came almost as soon as he was inside him. And that was okay, because Phil got off almost as fast, and half an hour later they were at it again. 

Now it's a familiar thing, but no less exciting. Phil spread out under him, that flush on his chest and his hair all a mess, limbs bumping and mouths clashing. It's beautiful, they're beautiful, what they do to each other. Dan is a little too hasty sometimes in his pleasure still, probably because he's not on top as often, but Phil never minds when Dan gasps out his orgasm a little too soon, because Dan never waits too long to finish Phil off in turn. 

"We should do that more often," he says, slumping off to the side. There's lube and come on his dick and his hand and his arm and somehow his collarbone even, and sweat everywhere the other stuff isn't, but right now he's huffing for breath and coasting down. "Like. Every night. Lets do that every night."

"Mm," Phil agrees. 

And they won't, because they are Busy Adult Men with Busy Adult Lives who quite often, when given an hour in which they have nothing at all else to do, choose Mario Kart or internet browsing or even just napping curled up together. Sex is all well and good but there's nothing quite like a drowsy Phil snoring beside him to soothe his life anxieties away. And Dan now, with his weathered wisdom of going on twenty-five years, understands how much better of an aspiration that really is. 


End file.
